Thursday, July 27, 2006
Launch Failure
Sometimes I feel like I will never launch. This past Saturday was no exception. I have for the third time taken my National Certification Test for Massage Therapy and Bodywork. For the third time I failed it. Imagine how this made me feel. Like a piece of poop honestly. The first time I took this test I missed it by one question. Yes one question. I felt like a putz then. The second time I studied a little harder and still failed. Now the third time (let me tell you, I am a Libra which is known for its procrastination) I worked my ass off studying. Thing is I have been told by a friend that I waited to long to study my ass off. I studied for a minimum of 3 hours each night for 2.5 weeks. Apparently this was not enuff because I failed once again. This time I was in shock and felt nothing but my life slipping away from me. I have worked for almost 10 years for this dream. I have started to feel like this is not my calling in life but somehow I will not give up on this dream. I feel so good after massaging people. From what I have been told and actually read is that after the third test you have to wait a year to take the examination again. I got my “official” test results today from the board stating that if I wanted to take the test again I would have to send my million dollar check to them once again……. I thought to myself, why are they not telling me I have to wait a year? So I called them and got wonderful news….. I have to re-apply and can take it over in three months. After taking this exam you would think that I know this stuff back to front but apparently I am not a good test taker. I never have been really. But this time I will do it right and pass!
About a year and a half ago my work had a Mardi Gras themed party with a psychic there. It was all in fun and games, but I decided to see what she had to say. I can not recall asking her about my where I will be career wise but she decided to tell me anyhow. She told me that what I wanted to do was not going to happed for awhile. To put it in my back pocket and keep it there. It would be better for me to go into Kansas to work. Well in Kansas you do not have to Nationally Certified. I put very little stock into what she told me all these months. I have seen a few psychic but put very little stock into what any of them have said. To me it is just fun really. Did she really mean what she said? I’m starting to think that there was a little truth to what she said. This has been in my back pocket for almost a year. When I failed this last test the only option I had for work was to go to the Kansas side. Just made me think. But honestly I think you have some control over your fate and I am not going to make that my fate, I will not keep this dream in my back pocket, I’m going to move it to the forefront of all things.
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1 comment:
Well, that is some really good news in the midst of all the bad. Is there anywhere you can get practice tests to take in preparation for this? Anything you can do to see how you are retaining the info would be really helpful, even if it is just having someone quiz you.
As much as you can I encourage you to put the other three attempts out of your mind and look at this as a new beginning. Test anxiety is bad enough without the 'here we go again' thoughts as you go in there. Glad you're sticking with it and not giving up. Once you do pass as can pursue this you're going to be glad you did.
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